i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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