i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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