could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I love you.
Bad choice
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
