There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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