Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
