quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
