i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
