she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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