dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
