i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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