you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
