a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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