People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This girl is more easily done than said...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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