Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
