it was like eating out sand paper
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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