remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
