My ATM looks so different sober.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
