omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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