the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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