I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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