smell my finger.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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