Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
