I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
