i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
