new low.... made out with someone while peeing
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
