I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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