does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
