have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
