How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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