i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
