our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
