At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we're making bets on your personal life
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
