A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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