smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
