I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize