a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
