If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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