i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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