so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
