Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
worst night to have a conscience
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
