the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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