Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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