scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
