So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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