If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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