nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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