And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
