Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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