I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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