Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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