$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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